Rick Barry‘s story is a hidden gem. This NBA player had a “peculiar” way of shooting free throws, to put it kindly. Instead of launching the ball over his head like everyone else, he placed it between his legs and executed a “spoonwise” shot. Quite a pair of hands, right?
Opponents chuckled when they saw him throw. But the laughter stopped short when Rick swept them off the court. Rick Barry boasted a 90% accuracy, the #1 of all time according to the American Basketball Association. A certain Michael Jordan had an 83.5% accuracy, and J. M. Calderon nearly 87%*.
Rick Barry ignored trends and won with his style. A lot. He was the NBA champion in 1975, an eight-time All-Star, and holds the record for the highest average points per game (36.3) in NBA Finals history.
The same applies to business, both now and when Rick played. It’s the problem of underbilling, of selling less than you could. You might not even realize it yourself. Because you’re doing what everyone does and says you should do—the nice, the modern, the cool.
You might have a higher quality product, provide fantastic service, take care of employees and suppliers, and still sell less than other more mediocre companies. Or you might feel that the only thing you can do to close a sale is to lower the price.
Sometimes, of course, the lack of sales comes from something that requires significant changes in your business. But luckily, more often than not, the numbers can improve a lot with a bold marketing srtategy, like the ones we implement at Artichoke.
It’s a strategy that’s bold,
Against the current we hold.
To decide, we use the data,
No emotions, no drama.
Perfection is not what we seek,
Ambition guides, not being meek.
Focused on what truly works,
Discarding what inaction lurks.
We test and test without a rest,
Until sales start to manifest.
And when we reach that height,
No relaxation, we continue the fight.
We keep learning, optimizing too,
Persisting and hammering through.
Applying techniques, modern and classic,
In the metaverse and the poetic Jurassic.
Contact us, and let’s see if you have what it takes for us to work together. Namely:
Budget
Near-term start date
Decision-making authority
If we reach an agreement, we’ll craft a strategy that won’t end with all the laughter. Because foolish laughter is the laughter of the same. And there are many of those. But it will leave you with a beautiful smile—the smile of those who win games and tournaments, the smile of champions.
Contact us at:
Do you create websites, social media, ads?
WE DON’T handle websites, apps, campaigns, events, live shopping, Amazon, media planning, street marketing, PR, catalogs, influencers, belly dancing, _________ (write whatever you want there), UNLESS it’s part of a plan to, you know, sell more. Even then, we remain skeptical. We keep experimenting with modern approaches while ensuring that old-fashioned methods still work.
Do you also work in Spain, or only in the USA?
Yes, no problem. We have clients in Spain. Part of the team is there. Just like our sister companies and partners. Even family and friends. That’s why we visit often.
Why is this website so ugly?
Because it works. Better than others we’ve tried. We have more clients. And that’s the point. We even posted videos of ourselves doing belly dancing. It didn’t work.
If you’re so sure, do you guarantee results?
Yes, it never fails. It’s a proven process. However, it doesn’t work on its own. It requires time, investment, and effort, also on your part (having a good product, knowing your customers…). Remember, you are the greatest expert in your product and your market. We want you on the team.
“In the end, everything turns out well. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
We have it tattooed in a place you can’t see (the brain).
If I don’t sell more, will you refund my money?
If, after a time we agree upon, during which we implement actions and campaigns, we don’t sell more (or better) than before, we won’t charge until we reach the break-even point.
Do you work under a revenue share model?
We love it. We can do it partially or in full based on the sales we generate. To align all our fees with sales or other KPIs that depend on us, we need to work together for a while to establish the response model. But hey, no problem.
Where are your offices?
Where do you want them?
(In the end, what does it matter?)
How many of you are on the team? What’s your annual revenue?
See the answer to the previous question.
Do you have experience in category X?
Almost certainly.
In any case, it doesn’t matter. It’s a custom job we do for you when you hire us; the principles and tools we use are universal. They work for all products and sectors, in any language and place, B2B and B2C, B2B2C, 2B or not 2B…
Do you provide customized proposals before starting an account?
Yes, for a fee. Once we agree on the scope of the proposal, the timeframe, and the price, we put our thinking caps on. If the proposal is approved, and we work together, that fee is settled at the end of the first year of work (external costs not included, of course).
Do you use Chat GPT?
And also pencils, whiteboards, Google, Illustrator, WordPress, and other things that help us think, analyze, create. And Excel, a lot of Excel. Having a beer with friends, even with clients (some end up becoming friends), also helps. Seriously.
Can I have a free first meeting?
We only do that with children over 80 years old accompanied by their parents. For everyone else, we have something better. A 60-minute first meeting with our director. He will lead the strategy, so it makes sense for him to attend the first time. He’ll listen to you, tell you about the service, what to expect, what challenges will come. And at the end, he’ll tell you if it’s worth moving forward; and if so, how we’re going to do it. This session costs $200.
Can I pay in 60 or 90 days?
Our fees are paid every month upfront. If you don’t agree, you’re right, and it doesn’t make sense to hire us.
Is there a minimum investment to work with Artichoke?
Depending on where you want to go, you need to put more or less fuel in the car (or watts). Even see what vehicle is needed for that journey. Metaphors aside, yes, depending on the market and objectives, there is an investment below which the model doesn’t work. And we’ll tell you what that is.
What sets you apart from the competition?
We’re doing great thanks to their incompetence.
Is Elvis still alive?
Chat GPT says no. But who knows.
If you have other questions, contact us at:
(*) J. M. Calderón holds a beastly record, by the way: 98.1% shooting (151 out of 154) with the Detroit Pistons in the 2008-2009 season.